Tag: christian

Necessary breaks

Jamie Johnson

A Purposeful Reset

Summer of 2023 was my last post. November of 2023 was my last podcast episode. Not my final of either but the beginning of a necessary break. The beauty of these online spaces is that there is always content for listeners and readers to consume. The online space is full of good, great, and not so great content. I would not dare to say which category my content is in because truly it doesn’t matter. This space has been a place to explore what works and what doesn’t work. A space to build confidence and be challenged to grow.

As the challenges came, so did the stress, and at times, doubt.

A break was needed.

I began to feel overwhelmed with identifying guests and considering what would be beneficial to my small but loving audience. I struggled with this. My audience tends to be quiet listeners, family supporters, and a few friends. I began to wonder what my audience would like rather than why I started this page and podcast. My opening declaration of “A podcast to Encourage and Inspire” “Being God led and God inspired” felt distant as I wrestled with what would be well received by viewers. Is pleasing the audience important yes, is it my purpose, no.

I encourage breaks. They are an opportunity to rest and reset. In a hustle culture that seems to be racing towards early destruction and death, the importance of slowing down has been suppressed and exchanged for the rest when you die mindset. I just can’t get with this thought process. It is devastating the minds and physical wellbeing of humanity. You need a break. You need to rest. You need to reset and so do I.

So I took a break…. and the break has lingered nearly a year. I will say that the break was productive, as I completed seminary with a degree in Christian Education. I attended conferences, shows, and studied topics that I found interesting. I traveled and read books. I became a lover of audible and have been eating up my credits as soon as I get them. I’ve gained some clarity and have prioritized listening to God over speaking. It has been time well spent and I proud of myself for saying that…So now what?

I am building with God. I feel less pressure to put together content and/or find someone to interview. I desire to share what God has placed on my heart, when it’s appropriate, and nurture the people that he has called me to. I decided that my content must reflect God’s love and his assignment for me. In my life I feel compelled to center God, my own health, and meaningful relationships. This can be difficult at times but I refused to be consumed by the pressure, fear, or the negative opinions of others.

In closing, I pray all future content is a reflection of the words and instructions God has given me:

  1. Build
  2. Teach
  3. Nurture
  4. Speak
  5. Healing and Deliverance

With Gratitude ~Jamie Johnson, LCSW

**Follow Faith Love and Therapy Podcast on Facebook. Some posts are available on Facebook that are not uploaded to the podcast 🙂

New Episode Inauthentic Christians

Jamie Johnson

open.spotify.com/episode/19U8nOwPzkYLtl9ZOxCP9A

Let’s unpack a little…

As we grow in our faith, we realize that some things must go.  I’ve have had the opportunity to see other christians grow in their faith within the therapy space,  and as I work with them I am reminded of the masks we all wear. These masks have protected us in a number of ways, but I often ask, what happens when we don’t take off the mask?  What happens when we build an identity that caters to the mask and not to our truest self. I believe we begin to live disjointed lives, void of the realty of who we truly are. We begin a game of charades that seems to never end. We become consumed by acting and gesturing for applause. 

This habit of acting and gesturing in body of Christ leads to a dismembering of the body. It causes deprivation to the members of church, in our personal lives and as a collective. Our uniqueness is intentional and necessary for the growth and expansion of God’s kingdom. It is not a mistake yet we find ourselves wearing masks, acting and gesturing in order to present ourselves as a package that is “acceptable.” It is true that we are to “present our bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is our reasonable service;” (Rom 12:1) remember there is an expectation of honest surrender and submission. God loves the real you. The authentic you.

In the episode linked above I’m sharing 3 struggles that I consistently see believers wrestling with.  These challenges hinder us from living authentically. I invite you to read the poem below by Paul Laurence Dunbar and also  listen to the podcast. I hope you share your thoughts. God Bless.

~Jamie Johnson, LCSW

We Wear the Mask

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
 
Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
       We wear the mask.
 
We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
       We wear the mask!
 
Source: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44203/we-wear-the-mask
Photo by Ron Lach on Pexels.com

An Anxious Attachment with God

Jamie Johnson

In the last three episodes of the podcast I have discussed relationship attachment styles and healthier relationship skills. I think it is important to draw our attention to the example Jesus shared with those living in his time. Jesus made time for the disciples, time for the lost, and time for the father. He communicated his perspective confidently and did not displayed anxiety about the relationships he formed while walking the earth. Jesus embodied love and valuing all of humanity. He leaves us with a view of emotionally healthy discipleship.

A healthy spirit and soul require a healthy mind. Mental health is a critical part of all human beings.

In the US, Anxiety has become the most common mental health diagnosis, following the pandemic. Exploring the influences and impact of having clinical anxiety from a therapeutic lens and from a faith lens led me to think about how we are in relationship with Christ. I specifically thought of an anxious attachment that presents in children and causes them to express distress when their caregiver leaves. The distress leads to having difficulty self soothing when their caregiver returns. They behave with uncertainty about relying upon the caregiver, and show some resentment to being abandoned. Each attachment style is an expression of a lack of security within a relationship and so how could we express insecure attachment in every other relationship yet have a secure attachment in our relationship with Christ?

I don’t believe we can.

Each attachment style is acting out an unanswered question/concern:

  1. Anxious- “Are you really there for me?”
  2. Avoidant – “I can’t find you because I can’t find me”
  3. Disorganized – “I hate you, don’t leave me”

An anxious attachment with Christ may look like constantly questioning if God still loves you. Is God angry with me? Have I disappointed God and now I must figure everything out for myself? I can see an anxious attachment to Jesus leading to a perfectionist mindset when attempting to connect with the father. Experiencing frustration with not praying well, decreasing communication after falling into sin or filtering conversations with God for fear of complaining too much. This expresses an underlying issue, that we fear not being good enough to receive Gods love. This is a twisted view, in reality, none of us are worthy yet he still chose us!

A question to consider is, why does the enemy use anxiety to distract us from the love of God?

An avoidant attachment may look like a constant search for meaning, purpose, and the voice of God. While these longings are important, the avoidant person decreases pursuit and focuses on something that provides a more immediate solution. This is when self soothing strategies, unhealthy coping, and addictions find space to fester. The Avoidant attachment struggles with looking within and accepting all parts of self. A failure to see ourselves clearly cripples our ability to see others clearly: this includes seeing God clearly.

A Disorganized attachment battles with accepting the love of Christ. There is a critical or judgmental lens that leads to self deprecating thoughts and behavior. This lens does not erase the presence and necessity of God but muddy’s the view with unresolved pain, anger, rejection. A disorganized view will lead us to reject the love of Christ and ask questions like, “If there is a God, why would he allow_____” “Where was God while I was being abused” or “How could God love me after I’ve done so many things wrong,” and even “I prayed that God would save my loved one, but they died.” “God does not hear me” This mindset keeps us angry, resistant to an alternative perspective and resistant to truth.

With out a secure attachment, our relationship with Jesus is skewed. A Secure attachment says:

“I’m right here and you’re right there”

So How do we become secure in our relationship with God?

  1. Let’s first ask the creator to heal the wounds and broken places that contribute to the disconnect.
  2. Stand on the observation deck of your relationship with God and be honest about what you see. Is there any resistance, fear, disconnect, or feelings of rejection?
  3. Adjust how you see God and how you behave with God. This requires digging into the scriptures and going beyond Sunday services and traditions to investigate your spiritual DNA.
  4. Open your mouth and say something! Communicating what you feel is a vital piece to developing a secure attachment style. God desires to hear your experiences, your perspective, and your concerns. He wants to respond to our needs! We have not because we asked not (James 4:2-3) We don’t have a greater understanding because we haven’t asked for one. We don’t know who we are because we have asked. We won’t have a strategy for healing without communicating our pain and asking for help!

Developing a secure relationship with God requires action! Move beyond the place of fear and chose to walk towards God in faith! Know that he has made you whole!

Photo by S Migaj on Pexels.com

Underestimating your value.

Jamie Johnson

Research shows the over estimating as well as underestimating value when building can be problematic. When asked which one is worse many developers would say underestimating the value. The danger of estimating something to be smaller or less important than it actually is that it can be costly.

In project development the cost will differ depending on the item being assessed, for example materials, time, and labor costs will vary. The same is true when you consider placing value on a person. Society expresses value based on what is produced and what an individual brings to the table. I agree that adequately assessing the benefit and cost of every endeavor or relationship is necessary. Where I’ve grown concerned, is with the demise of many people who have underestimated their own value in ways that compromise their own core values and authenticity.

In sessions I have the opportunity to assist clients with examining their behavior and the thoughts that influence those behaviors. Many times I help to expose narratives that have never been spoken but are carried out within my clients day to day lives. Narratives like:

“I’m not enough”

“The opinions of others mean everything too me”

“I’f I say no, I will make them mad”

“If I change they will leave me”

“If I’m successful I will be loved”

“If I avoid conflict then I won’t get rejected”

“Getting close to others is too risky”

These statements are powerful dictators within the individuals who carry them. Notice that they all express a value based on external factors or comparisons made by the individual. I’ve learned that the enemy launches an assault on our identify and our value during childhood in hopes that we will forfeit our destiny. These narratives, or what is clinically known as Cognitive Distortions, hinder our growth and our relationships. They cause us to live a life that does not align with Gods original plan for his people. Underestimating your value will lead you to except less than what God has for you. It will cause you to turn a blind eye to red flags and decline blessings sent just for you.

As you are learning more and healing from all that life has thrown at you, remember that your value was established at the cross! A price was paid that you nor I could ever repay. The price of our ransom was MIGHTY! Because you are worth more than rubies, you’re Gods greatest creation, royalty, and most of all chosen for such a time as this!

Photo by David Bartus on Pexels.com