Tag: faith

The Woman at the Well

Jamie Johnson

Overcoming stigma and receiving God’s living water

Recently I recorded a Facebook live about the woman at the well and what lesson’s we can learn while healing from divorce. Feel free to watch by click this Facebook link.

I had been drawn to the story of this Samaritan woman, long before my own divorce in 2018. Her story has been one that I’ve always wondered about. Specifically, the fascination with her 5 husbands. I mean, I get it. In a culture where men had multiple wives and concubines, we don’t read or hear much talk of a woman having multiple husbands or divorces. But I could never draw the energy to point the finger solely at her even though the text is centered around this woman. I’ve struggled with assuming she was somehow defective, as so many of the sermons I’ve heard throughout my life would like to convey. I feel differently about her, I feel compassion towards her.

It wasn’t until recently that I began to put more language to what I’ve be feeling about her. As I read her story again in the book of John Ch. 4, I said audibly, “that’s a lot of grief“. She has literally lost 5 husbands, and we have no knowledge of what led to the demise of each of those relationships. Yet many focus on how messed up she must be. 

Biblical marriages could occur as soon as a young girl was able to get pregnant. I’ve seen a picture in the Bible Museum, located in Washington DC, of a Samaritan couple engaged to be married. The two individuals pictured were 10 years old! I struggled to be married at 32 years old, my brain cannot even conceive of marital responsibilities at the age of 10! I understand that the traditions, lifestyle and support available would have been different for her, however, the fact remains that 10-year-olds don’t have a fully developed mind but were expected to remain married. Wow. I can’t help but consider these things when thinking of this Samaritan woman and wonder what her experience was. I believe she experienced and carried a great deal of pain. I know the pain of ending a marriage even when the relationship needs to end. The grief is heavy. The hurt, the loss, and the process of starting over is filled with many tears. Many women who have experienced divorce struggle with a loss of identity. After years of operating within a specific role, with expectations and a routine that supported a life rooted in being a wife. Who am I now? is such a common question.

This woman at the well has endured 5 losses by divorce, possibly death, or even abandonment. She’s rejected and outcast from her community. God knows this and even seems drawn to this. John 4 says he leaves “Judea on the way to Galilee, and that he “must/needs” to go through Samaria”. This divine encounter set to occur with this woman, at the well she visits daily to draw water, is necessary. He understood her pain, the grief, and the influence that her deliverance would have on so many Samaritans. God’s encounter was an invitation to step into this woman’s God given identity. To drink from a well that never runs dry. To birth a well of water within her that can sustain her for life.

This intimate encounter reminds me that God brings water to the thirsty, no matter if it’s spiritual thirst, mental thirst, or physical thirst. He is the source of a new identity, completely designed by him. His invitation to the woman was an invitation to me and every divorcee that is willing to draw from his well.

So Drink, Worship, and Know that He has come so that we might have life. He didn’t come to condemn but to provide a cure for the grief, the thirst, the rejection, the shame, and the loss. 

With Gratitude ~ Jamie Johnson, MSW, MACE, LCSW

Necessary breaks

Jamie Johnson

A Purposeful Reset

Summer of 2023 was my last post. November of 2023 was my last podcast episode. Not my final of either but the beginning of a necessary break. The beauty of these online spaces is that there is always content for listeners and readers to consume. The online space is full of good, great, and not so great content. I would not dare to say which category my content is in because truly it doesn’t matter. This space has been a place to explore what works and what doesn’t work. A space to build confidence and be challenged to grow.

As the challenges came, so did the stress, and at times, doubt.

A break was needed.

I began to feel overwhelmed with identifying guests and considering what would be beneficial to my small but loving audience. I struggled with this. My audience tends to be quiet listeners, family supporters, and a few friends. I began to wonder what my audience would like rather than why I started this page and podcast. My opening declaration of “A podcast to Encourage and Inspire” “Being God led and God inspired” felt distant as I wrestled with what would be well received by viewers. Is pleasing the audience important yes, is it my purpose, no.

I encourage breaks. They are an opportunity to rest and reset. In a hustle culture that seems to be racing towards early destruction and death, the importance of slowing down has been suppressed and exchanged for the rest when you die mindset. I just can’t get with this thought process. It is devastating the minds and physical wellbeing of humanity. You need a break. You need to rest. You need to reset and so do I.

So I took a break…. and the break has lingered nearly a year. I will say that the break was productive, as I completed seminary with a degree in Christian Education. I attended conferences, shows, and studied topics that I found interesting. I traveled and read books. I became a lover of audible and have been eating up my credits as soon as I get them. I’ve gained some clarity and have prioritized listening to God over speaking. It has been time well spent and I proud of myself for saying that…So now what?

I am building with God. I feel less pressure to put together content and/or find someone to interview. I desire to share what God has placed on my heart, when it’s appropriate, and nurture the people that he has called me to. I decided that my content must reflect God’s love and his assignment for me. In my life I feel compelled to center God, my own health, and meaningful relationships. This can be difficult at times but I refused to be consumed by the pressure, fear, or the negative opinions of others.

In closing, I pray all future content is a reflection of the words and instructions God has given me:

  1. Build
  2. Teach
  3. Nurture
  4. Speak
  5. Healing and Deliverance

With Gratitude ~Jamie Johnson, LCSW

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Keep Going…

Jamie Johnson

Often times our greatest battle is within. Choosing a path and sticking to it until we see the next step or the finish line, can be overwhelming. I haven’t always been enthusiastic about having a podcast because of the internal critic that many of us find ourselves wrestling with. I have decided that the critic will be present for most of the big decision that I make and I accept that her voice can be extremely loud. I have also decided that I will not spend all of my time arguing with her. I will, however, keep going.

I have made a commitment to obey. When I get distracted I will return to what God has asked of me. This podcast was a whisper from God in early 2019 that emerged in 2020. I have not stopped even though I have struggled to get clear on direction, content, purpose and value of what I produce. I believe this is the struggle for those of us who choose to co-create with the father. We spend hours wondering “Is the right?” “Is this good?” “Do people care?” “Does it bring value?” I don’t have the answers to those questions but I do have the solution God has given me…Keep Going. Be obedient.

So with that I have not stopped and the first three episodes of 2023 are available now on all platforms. I started this year with 3 conversations that are very important to me:

  1. Wellness in the Black Community
  2. Mental Health and Manhood-A Personal story
  3. Navigating Youth and Adolescent Mental Health

You can listen by clicking the Apple icon above or watch on YouTube. For those of you wondering if your perspective matters or if you’re doing the right thing; just remember if God gave you the vision…Keep Going.

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An Anxious Attachment with God

Jamie Johnson

In the last three episodes of the podcast I have discussed relationship attachment styles and healthier relationship skills. I think it is important to draw our attention to the example Jesus shared with those living in his time. Jesus made time for the disciples, time for the lost, and time for the father. He communicated his perspective confidently and did not displayed anxiety about the relationships he formed while walking the earth. Jesus embodied love and valuing all of humanity. He leaves us with a view of emotionally healthy discipleship.

A healthy spirit and soul require a healthy mind. Mental health is a critical part of all human beings.

In the US, Anxiety has become the most common mental health diagnosis, following the pandemic. Exploring the influences and impact of having clinical anxiety from a therapeutic lens and from a faith lens led me to think about how we are in relationship with Christ. I specifically thought of an anxious attachment that presents in children and causes them to express distress when their caregiver leaves. The distress leads to having difficulty self soothing when their caregiver returns. They behave with uncertainty about relying upon the caregiver, and show some resentment to being abandoned. Each attachment style is an expression of a lack of security within a relationship and so how could we express insecure attachment in every other relationship yet have a secure attachment in our relationship with Christ?

I don’t believe we can.

Each attachment style is acting out an unanswered question/concern:

  1. Anxious- “Are you really there for me?”
  2. Avoidant – “I can’t find you because I can’t find me”
  3. Disorganized – “I hate you, don’t leave me”

An anxious attachment with Christ may look like constantly questioning if God still loves you. Is God angry with me? Have I disappointed God and now I must figure everything out for myself? I can see an anxious attachment to Jesus leading to a perfectionist mindset when attempting to connect with the father. Experiencing frustration with not praying well, decreasing communication after falling into sin or filtering conversations with God for fear of complaining too much. This expresses an underlying issue, that we fear not being good enough to receive Gods love. This is a twisted view, in reality, none of us are worthy yet he still chose us!

A question to consider is, why does the enemy use anxiety to distract us from the love of God?

An avoidant attachment may look like a constant search for meaning, purpose, and the voice of God. While these longings are important, the avoidant person decreases pursuit and focuses on something that provides a more immediate solution. This is when self soothing strategies, unhealthy coping, and addictions find space to fester. The Avoidant attachment struggles with looking within and accepting all parts of self. A failure to see ourselves clearly cripples our ability to see others clearly: this includes seeing God clearly.

A Disorganized attachment battles with accepting the love of Christ. There is a critical or judgmental lens that leads to self deprecating thoughts and behavior. This lens does not erase the presence and necessity of God but muddy’s the view with unresolved pain, anger, rejection. A disorganized view will lead us to reject the love of Christ and ask questions like, “If there is a God, why would he allow_____” “Where was God while I was being abused” or “How could God love me after I’ve done so many things wrong,” and even “I prayed that God would save my loved one, but they died.” “God does not hear me” This mindset keeps us angry, resistant to an alternative perspective and resistant to truth.

With out a secure attachment, our relationship with Jesus is skewed. A Secure attachment says:

“I’m right here and you’re right there”

So How do we become secure in our relationship with God?

  1. Let’s first ask the creator to heal the wounds and broken places that contribute to the disconnect.
  2. Stand on the observation deck of your relationship with God and be honest about what you see. Is there any resistance, fear, disconnect, or feelings of rejection?
  3. Adjust how you see God and how you behave with God. This requires digging into the scriptures and going beyond Sunday services and traditions to investigate your spiritual DNA.
  4. Open your mouth and say something! Communicating what you feel is a vital piece to developing a secure attachment style. God desires to hear your experiences, your perspective, and your concerns. He wants to respond to our needs! We have not because we asked not (James 4:2-3) We don’t have a greater understanding because we haven’t asked for one. We don’t know who we are because we have asked. We won’t have a strategy for healing without communicating our pain and asking for help!

Developing a secure relationship with God requires action! Move beyond the place of fear and chose to walk towards God in faith! Know that he has made you whole!

Photo by S Migaj on Pexels.com

Garden, Plants & Relationships

Jamie Johnson

I abandoned a plant in my office that seemed to struggle no matter what I did to care for it. Every day I look at it and touch the crumpled leaves feeling disappointed. At times I would think about what it needed and even vowed to repot it with fresh soil. It still sits…wilting. This has frustrated me more than I care to admit because I truly like plants and gardens. I planted my first garden in the center of my parents back yard when I was barely a teenager. I planted corn, carrots, and peas not knowing how to grow anything. Some seeds were successful and some where not but my enjoyment for gardening and plant life was born. This joy was carried into my spiritual development, as I often enjoyed the imagery layered throughout the Bible of seeds and gardens and harvests. But now I am glaring at this wilted plant feeling annoyed so I did what felt right. I literally placed it in a corner and turned by attention to something more productive.

Yesterday, while staring at this wilting plant, God dropped something very convicting in my spirit. THIS IS A PATTERN. A cycle within my life as well as some of the clients I’ve counseled. This cycle is prevalent within relationships. When someone is not responding to the investment we’ve made, or when we feel inadequate, they are quickly moved to the back burner. Often we can see what the relationship needs in order to heal and even to thrive but we’ve grown frustrated and put our energy elsewhere.

I’ve felt led to begin exploring relationships on the podcast and begin dealing with these cycles.

Look for more on relationships in the August Episodes of Faith Love and Therapy. Get your journals ready!

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