Overcoming stigma and receiving God’s living water
Recently I recorded a Facebook live about the woman at the well and what lesson’s we can learn while healing from divorce. Feel free to watch by click this Facebook link.
I had been drawn to the story of this Samaritan woman, long before my own divorce in 2018. Her story has been one that I’ve always wondered about. Specifically, the fascination with her 5 husbands. I mean, I get it. In a culture where men had multiple wives and concubines, we don’t read or hear much talk of a woman having multiple husbands or divorces. But I could never draw the energy to point the finger solely at her even though the text is centered around this woman. I’ve struggled with assuming she was somehow defective, as so many of the sermons I’ve heard throughout my life would like to convey. I feel differently about her, I feel compassion towards her.
It wasn’t until recently that I began to put more language to what I’ve be feeling about her. As I read her story again in the book of John Ch. 4, I said audibly, “that’s a lot of grief“. She has literally lost 5 husbands, and we have no knowledge of what led to the demise of each of those relationships. Yet many focus on how messed up she must be.
Biblical marriages could occur as soon as a young girl was able to get pregnant. I’ve seen a picture in the Bible Museum, located in Washington DC, of a Samaritan couple engaged to be married. The two individuals pictured were 10 years old! I struggled to be married at 32 years old, my brain cannot even conceive of marital responsibilities at the age of 10! I understand that the traditions, lifestyle and support available would have been different for her, however, the fact remains that 10-year-olds don’t have a fully developed mind but were expected to remain married. Wow. I can’t help but consider these things when thinking of this Samaritan woman and wonder what her experience was. I believe she experienced and carried a great deal of pain. I know the pain of ending a marriage even when the relationship needs to end. The grief is heavy. The hurt, the loss, and the process of starting over is filled with many tears. Many women who have experienced divorce struggle with a loss of identity. After years of operating within a specific role, with expectations and a routine that supported a life rooted in being a wife. Who am I now? is such a common question.
This woman at the well has endured 5 losses by divorce, possibly death, or even abandonment. She’s rejected and outcast from her community. God knows this and even seems drawn to this. John 4 says he leaves “Judea on the way to Galilee, and that he “must/needs” to go through Samaria”. This divine encounter set to occur with this woman, at the well she visits daily to draw water, is necessary. He understood her pain, the grief, and the influence that her deliverance would have on so many Samaritans. God’s encounter was an invitation to step into this woman’s God given identity. To drink from a well that never runs dry. To birth a well of water within her that can sustain her for life.
This intimate encounter reminds me that God brings water to the thirsty, no matter if it’s spiritual thirst, mental thirst, or physical thirst. He is the source of a new identity, completely designed by him. His invitation to the woman was an invitation to me and every divorcee that is willing to draw from his well.
So Drink, Worship, and Know that He has come so that we might have life. He didn’t come to condemn but to provide a cure for the grief, the thirst, the rejection, the shame, and the loss.
With Gratitude ~ Jamie Johnson, MSW, MACE, LCSW
Faith Love and Therapy Podcast 